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Baseball Players I’d Like to Hire

Success on the Ball Field and the Boardroom

If you run a small business, you probably do a lot of thinking about who you’d like to have on your team.  And, if your like me, you both run a small business and you play in a small fantasy baseball league.  So, during those late nights with your face to the grindstone, it can’t help but get confusing as to which one you are working on.

That’s why Fantasy Baseball Dugout is proud to introduce its first ever All Small Business Baseball Team with the players that I’d most like to have working at my business.

Craig Breslow, baseball's smartest player

ROCKET SURGEON: The Red Sox Craig Breslow studied molecular physics while pitching at Yale. I think I could find a place for him in my business bullpen.

Here goes:

C – Yadier Molina, St. Louis Cardinals – Every business needs somebody to do the dirty work and catcher is the position with the most dirty work.  Molina could collect on the delinquent accounts, climb the ladder to install the lights, and even clean the refrigerator.

1B/DH– Albert Pujols, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim – Bill James said that the most consistent player of all-time was Pujols.  Second was Henry Aaron.  Not bad company.  A small business needs consistent performers that can be relied on day in and day out.  Pujols would be that person.

1B – Chris Carter, Houston Astros – The guy finished pre-med at Stanford in 3 years!  Sounds like somebody I’d like on my team/business.

2B – Jose Altuve, Houston Astros – He’s the Sultan of Short at 5’ 5”, but he hit .290 with 7 homers and 33 stolen bases last year in his first full year in the MLB.  I like employees that have deficiencies, but turn them into positives through hard work and emphasis on what they do best.  Altuve is one of those and you should have picked up in your fantasy league two years ago.

SS – Cal Ripken Jr., Baltimore Orioles – As if an explanation is necessary?  This guy came to work every day (vital in a small business where you don’t have a backup).  Of course, Derek Jeter and Jimmy Rollins would make for more modern choices.

3B – David Wright, New York Mets – He saved Team USA from first round elimination so he’s a patriot.  He’s eye candy for women so he could sell anything to them.  I’d put him in marketing.

OF – Nyjer Morgan, Yokohama (Japanese League) – Every business needs a high energy guy and Morgan is just that.  It will be interesting to see how his unique personality plays in the normally subdued Japanese League this year.

OF – Steve Swisher, Cleveland Indians – Always smiling and always positive, Swisher is the goofball that every team (and business) needs.

OF – Coco Crisp, Oakland Athletics – He has the best hair in baseball.  He’s also one of the fastest players in MLB and it’s important to work fast in a small business, because you have less people to rely on.  His unique name alone would also command attention for your business.

SP – Cole Hamels, Philadelphia Phillies – He looks like Jim Carey so he’d make everybody in the office laugh just by looking at him.  His wife Heidi was on Survivor and in Playboy so the office parties would be interesting.  He gives a lot of his time and money to charity which is a positive reflection on the company.

RP – Craig Breslow, Boston Red Sox – Every business needs a really smart guy.  Breslow is just that.  He studied molecular biophysics at Yale.  Probably even understands why a curve ball curves.  Geez.

Manager – Joe Altobelli, Baltimore Orioles – A good manager needs to get the most out of his players.  A small business usually can’t pay the same salaries as a big business can so a manager has to maximize what he has to work with.  Altobelli does that better than anybody else.  I only wish I had his talents both on the field and in the boardroom.

So, there it is.  Let us know who you’d like on your baseball business team in the comments below.

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